Pick Me Up
by IchigoPudding
Summary: Harry, Neville, Ron, Seamus and Dean sit around their dorm eating food and talking about pick-up lines. Some implied slash so if you don't like that... May not be updated reguarly as it is a series of oneshots and twoshots. Lots of sexual innuendos.
1. Greenhouses

**DISCLAIMER: If I own this… Then I'm rich! Woohoo! Wait… I don't own it… DAMMIT!**

**AN: First I posted a chapter of WTSB and now this oneshot, love me?**

**And yes, all the pick-up lines are **_**really**_** lame and cheesy!**

**--Chapter One: Greenhouses—**

Harry, Ron, Neville, Seamus and Dean were sitting in their dormitory, eating Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans, Chocolate Frogs, Caldron Cakes and Pumpkin Pasties. The current topic of the wizard's conversation was pick-up lines.

"I got one," Seamus declared, grinning.

"What is it then?" Ron asked.

"Want to take a ride on my broomstick?" He purred, glancing slyly in Ron's direction.

Ron paled and scooted away while Dean snorted, "That's not very original."

Seamus pouted, "What's yours then?"

Dean rolled his eyes and said sarcastically, "Can I use my wand to stir your cauldron?"

Ron laughed. "These are so corny."

Dean sent Ron a mock-hurt glare, "Like you could do better!"

Ron puffed up his chest up proudly, " "Nice clothes, although they would look so much better on my bedroom floor."

"Now _that_ was lame," Neville muttered quietly.

Ron glanced at Neville, amused.

"What's yours then?"

Neville's face went pink and he buried his face in his pillow.

"Want to do it behind the greenhouses?"

Neville pulled the pillow away from his face and accepted Harry's high-five.

Ron scowled, upset from being beaten – he seemed to be the only one taking this semi-seriously – "What's yours Harry?"

Harry smiled softly.

"Hi, I'm Harry Potter. Wanna come home with me?"

**AN: So who do you think had the best pick-up line? They're all so clichéd and corny. XD**

**Who thinks that most of these guys would be slapped? Who of you out there would slap these guys?!**


	2. Forbidden Forests

**AN: Some of you wanted this and now I have inspiration, there also might be a chapter 3 with some Slytherins… I hope this is as good as the last one :)**

**And thank you so much, ****Toast Winchester**** and ****byebye cherrie pie**** for their suggestions. ^^;**

**It's so hard to come up with original Harry Potter pickup lines -.-**

**--Chapter 2: Forbidden Forests—**

The Gryffindors were once again talking about pick up lines, with their developing hormones and such the conversation generally flowed onto the topic.

"Any one got any new ones?" Ron asked, doubtfully.

Seamus chewed his lip, thinking. "Can I explore your forbidden forest?"

Dean made a face, "Seamus, you're a weird one."

Seamus snorted, "But my pick up lines would beat yours any day."

Dean pouted, "That's not what you said last night…"

Ron spat out his mouthful of butter beer, "WHAT?! That's disgusting!"

Harry laughed, "Your go Dean."

"Want to have our own Tri-wizard Tournament, right here, right now?"Dean cheekily stuck his tongue out at Seamus and dodged out of the way of the pillow thrown by Ron.

Ron glared at him, "Want to have some Quidditch tryouts? You can use my broom."

Seamus winked at him before chuckling.

Neville was bright red looking between the three, "Urr…"

Harry only laughed before smiling happily.

"I-I have a new plant in my bed, would you like to see it?" Neville spoke quietly.

Harry's smile widened.

"Would you like to enter into my Chamber of Secrets?"

--

**AN: Okay… Somehow there's some implied Dean/Seamus/Ron… I swear I did not plan for this to happen… Harry and Neville seem to have something going on as well, what the hell did I do to them?!**


	3. Don’t Play With Fire

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**AN: This will probably be the last chapter. It will be updated if I get any more inspiration in the future xx**

**--Chapter 3: Don't Play With Fire--**

The next day on the way to the great hall on the way to breakfast, the dorm mates were looking for new people to try their pick up lines on. Just telling them to each other wasn't as entertaining as one might think.

"Hey Malfoy!" Harry yelled, and the blond turned to sneer at him. "Since you're so good on a broom, you want to ride my wood?!"

Draco cheeks flushed a light pink and he sent a weak glare at them before scurrying off.

When walking past Hannah Abbott, Seamus reached out and tugged on one of her ever present plaits. She turned to look at him in confusion and he winked at her, causing her to turn bright red.

As they walked into the great hall Ron yelled his comment to the first person he laid eyes on.

"Want to polish my handle?" Lots of heads turned his way, including that of the person who he had shouted out to.

Snape, the greasy git, turned and glared; looking like a bat out of hell.

"Detention Weasley, with Filtch for two weeks. I don't even want to spend time in your presence."

He sneered before striding away, robes billowing out behind him.

Ron was gaping, pale-faced and Harry patted him on the back twice.

"There, there mate. There's always next time."

Seamus laughed before running off to get breakfast, pulling Dean along behind him.

Neville smiled slightly before placing a hand on Harry's arm.

"Common Harry, let's go have breakfast. Ron can go plan his date with Filtch. Maybe they can have a threesome with Mrs Norris."


End file.
